I’ve been to the gym three times this week. I did a 14-minute mile on the elliptical. Thaddeus cautioned me about pushing myself too far too fast. I’ve seen some amazing results already, even with (what feels like) the very slow/easy pace we’ve been going at. I’ve lost 13 pounds this month. At this rate, I’ll be in a healthier weight range before the end of the year. More importantly, I’ll be ready to bulk up and get some bigger muscles.

You’re coming over to pick up the kids early and join us for lunch. I’m excited but nervous to see you because I need to talk to you. I can tell you’re being reserved and a little aloof. I’m not sure if it’s a defense mechanism or if that’s just the new you or if you’re just uninterested in me. But there’s some things I need to get off my chest… some assurances I need.

I know I shouldn’t feel uncertain about whether or not you like me. I see glimpses of it. Your smile when I asked if I could kiss you made my heart flutter. The way you held me while I washed the dishes last weekend – it was like the rest of the world melted away. You held on for so long…

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It doesn’t seem to matter how much housework or schoolwork I distract myself with, my stomach churns with anxiety when I think about talking to you.