I’m so excited for our date this Friday. I bought the couple’s edition of We’re Not Really Strangers and I’m hoping we can watch The Addams Family or play a video game. I’ll try to remember to ask if I should bring the Xbox.

Last night, I slept under the blanket you got me for Yule. It’s so cozy and the weight makes me feel secure.

I’m looking forward to seeing you tonight when you drop off T and E. And, hopefully, I’ll get to feel your lips on mine. Maybe we’ll have enough time to talk about the workbooks I found.

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I forgot to tell you about the workbooks but we have a lovely conversation. I wrote you a letter sharing a few of the items from The Love List. I also wrote another letter that included the Somersaults in Spring poem.

We told the kids today and you let me know you told Mamaw. She hopes we can work out our issues and get back together. I’m not ready to live together yet… but I hope I can get there one day. You told me you needed more time to get where I am – which makes sense since I’ve had growing feelings for six months and you only let yourself even ponder on us a week ago.

I want to do things the right way this time. You mentioned one of the things that really bothered you about our past was when we would argue over text. I asked if you wanted to eat a boundary around that and we agreed not to argue over the phone. I hope we can talk more deeply about our boundaries throughout the relationship and have healthy conflict.

Here are some of my boundaries around conflict:

• no physical violence or intimidation
• no name calling
• no attacking/blaming
• focus on solutions, not winning
• take a break if things get heated
• don’t leave the house
• listen to understand, not to respond/defend
• no telling the other person how they should feel
• no threats (breaking up, etc)
• make the problem the enemy.

I think a good format to raise is issue is: “I feel _____ because ______ happened. ______ would help me feel better.”

It’s odd because after last Friday when I brought up my fear about your friend my anxiety around communicating with you has improved. I used to get stomach aches just from thinking about coming to you with a problem. Now, I can think about what I want to say to you and I really believe you’ll listen and work with me to solve a problem.

I have so much hope for us. For our future. I was surprised when you asked me what we should do about the cats. Marshmallow has FIV, which means there’s a possibility it could be transmitted to Couma if they ever got into a fight. I was confused at first but then I realized you were asking because us living together is on your mind.

We kissed goodbye so many times. I may be slightly addicted to your lips. So far, none of our kisses have included tongue and, truly, I am thankful. I know I’m not ready for sex. It will cloud my judgment and take the focus away from reconciliation. But the feeling I get when your lips are pressed into mine, your hands roaming over my hips… things quiver without being touched. I melt. And if we added our tongues… let’s just say I remember how talented we both are.

With sex off the table, we face the challenge of finding other ways to foster intimacy. I’m looking forward to deeper conversation, non-sexual but sensual touch, and doing things together to grow and learn and relearn.

Our next date is on Friday. You’re making dinner and we’ll play couple’s WNRS. Maybe watch The Addams Family, if I can convince me to cuddle up on your self-described uncomfortable couch.

Im’ going to touch myself tonight and think of you. Of your hands, your lips, your tongue, your hips. The way your eyes roll back and your toes splay and your brows pinch together when you come. I like to think I will have the chance to enjoy you again soon, but I don’t want to rush anything, so for now I will fantasize.