I stayed over last night. We watched some documentaries and started our workbook. We had some delicious Chinese food for dinner. It always feels good to spend time talking to you. I can’t get Scotland out of my head and confessed to you that I’d hoped, if we ever did get married again, that it would be there.

This morning you woke me up when you were holding my hand. The feel of your hands on me is so… sensual. Intimate. Safe. It feels amazing when you touch me. Like I’m grounded. You used your hands to make me come. I was out of breath when I told you I wanted you on top of me. You happily obliged and it felt like I was teetering on a cliff when you came. The condom you used had some kind of warming effect – which I can still feel as I write this.

I hope we can get back to when you could go more than once. It’ll probably take time. I can still feel you shaking above me, between my legs. I’m not satisfied. I want more of you but I don’t want to push you or make you feel bad. I will hopefully have the rest of our lives to have more of you. That’s something I’m hanging on to.

In about an hour or so, I’ll have to leave. It’s always hard to say goodbye.

---

A and S and I went to Danville to get some “herbal remedies”. We stopped at this Vietnamese restaurant. The chef/owner was so friendly and welcoming. We had shots of his homemade Chinese medicine liquor and the chicken was amazing. The place was called Kobe.

After lunch, we went to Heron County Park and walked a trail with a floating boardwalk. The lotus flowers were so abundant, they looked like a field. Duckweed covered the surface of the water and reminded me of the slough. We went to the observation tower and rested in a shady spot listening to S’s Arabic playlist. A brought her camera, so she was snapping away. It made me miss having a camera. Maybe one day, when I can afford a good macro lens or a great zoom lens, I’ll get back into photography.

For now, I want to improve my drawing skills. I’ve done a few charcoal drawings, a graphite sketch, and a painting. I want to play around with charcoal some more and get good at it. It’s a versatile medium and I’m hoping I can draw up some portraits to hang around the house.

I know we’ve talked a little about moving in together… It’s going to be a much bigger undertaking than last time because we have two full households to combine. I certainly don’t want another spatula incident, so I think it’ll be important to have a lot of discussion before hand. Thankfully, we have time.

There are still times where I feel like an intruder in your life. Is there such a thing as relationship imposter syndrome? I’m so thankful for your constant patience and reassurance. It helps fade these feelings. Slowly, but hopefully surely, these feelings will disappear.